


Old Flames

by trashsith



Series: A New Beginning [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Happy Ending tho, Mentions of Sex, Someone stop me, Spoilers - Kingdom Hearts III, appreciate my son, i dare you to tell me he isnt hot, i swear like a sailor but i tried not to, if only he wasnt an asshole, im a slut for xemnas, im going to hell, might write a prequel sometime, self-indulgent tbh, terra is so sweet, there arent enough xemnas fics there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 05:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17760587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashsith/pseuds/trashsith
Summary: Reader had a relationship with Xemnas when they were nobodies and he commanded the organization, so when she sees Terra-Xehanort she thinks she’s finally reunited with her lover.





	Old Flames

**Author's Note:**

> look... i'm a slut for xemnas and i imagined 'what would it be like if xemnas had a lover and then when they saw terra they got shook?' and thus this one-shot was born  
> listen i wrote this instead of paying attention in class so i'm sorry for any mistakes

"Xemnas..." I breathed out.

  
He turned to me. His lips parted, as if he was about to say something, but then they were pressed into a thin line. the first thing I noticed was his hair; it was shorter, nothing like the long strands I used to run my hands through. Then his fitted black shirt with a red X on his chest, it showed off the muscles I memorized after the many late nights I spend in his room. I took a step towards him, ignoring the yells from my new friends. His lower half was covered in baggy brown pants. A piece of armor in his left arm matched the colors of his attire.

  
"Is it... is it really you?" My voice was so soft I wasn't sure if he even heard me. His golden eyes landed the keyblade in my right hand, then they moved back to my face. I choked out a sob and let go of my keyblade. I ran the short distance between us and wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug.

  
It's only been months since I last saw him, but I really fucking missed him. Our relationship as nobodies was very complicated. It started off as a casual thing, due to our inability to feel, it was purely physical attraction between us. As the years passed, I became fond of him, I didn't know if I could call it love because I wasn't even supposed to feel anything at all. His personality didn't change one bit when we were alone. He was as formal and stiff as when we were surrounded by our comrades and he barely let himself show any emotions. He slowly opened up to me after a year of our... relationship? Sometimes he just wanted me to hold his hand and I would assure him that I wasn't going anywhere, or the pecks he left on my forehead when he thought no one was looking and whispered that I looked pretty, despite wearing the same black Organization coat every day. I longed for the time we would be whole again, because I knew he would finally love me as much as I loved him.

  
"I’m not Xemnas, not anymore." Despite his harsh tone, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and rested his chin on my head. I closed my eyes and relaxed in his arms. It felt like home.

  
"We're whole again! We can finally be together, like we always wanted." I smiled and propped my chin on his chest to look up at him.

  
His jaw was clenched tightly as he stared at the ground, avoiding my gaze. I loosened my grip, but it only made him tighten his arms around me. Now this was more like the side Xemnas he only showed me. Suddenly he released me from his arms and dropped to the ground. He held his head and groaned loudly as his knees dug into the dirt. In an instant he looked up at me, his amber eyes widened. I frowned and reached out to him, he grabbed my hands and pulled me to the ground with him.

  
"I’m not Xemnas. He's possessing my body, leave before he comes back and hurts you."

  
Tears swelled up in my eyes as I got my arms out of his grip. I crawled backwards on the floor to get away from him. _What the fuck was happening?_ I heard Sora calling my name, then Riku. I thought I could also hear Lea, but I was too distracted with the man kneeling in front of me to make out any of the voices around us.

  
Xemnas– or _not Xemnas_ – held onto his head again, but this time he actually fell to the floor and writhed in pain. I couldn't do anything other than stare dumbfounded at him, looking for any sign that this was my Xemnas besides his appearance. Riku ran up to me and helped me back onto my feet. I was about to thank him when I felt movement behind me. I turned just in time to see Xemnas surrounded by purple chains, then he caught Aqua, Ventus and Sora with them. I screamed and tried to save them, but Riku held me back.

  
"They can take care of him. Let's go!" He snapped and wrapped an arm around my shoulders pull me to safety, where the others were waiting for us. I heard another scream, so I tried to turn back, but Riku had an iron grip on me.

  
"You'll never be able to break these chains." Xemnas chuckled. "They're _our bonds_."

  
"Riku, please." I begged as we arrived at the group, Kairi quickly holding onto each side of my face as she tried to talk some sense into me. I closed my eyes and shook my head. Another scream was heard, followed quickly by one of my own. I ripped Kairi's hands from me and I managed to escape before Riku's reflexes kicked in and noticed I wasn't in his arms anymore. Lea called out to me, he had been one of my best friends in the organization, so he knew how much I cared for Xemnas despite the feeling not being returned. I froze on the spot. Lea used the time to catch up to me, he murmured an oh shit when he noticed what I was looking at.

  
Aqua and Ventus were plummeting to the floor and fast. I choked out a sob and watched helplessly as they fell. A black monster flew in at the last moment and grabbed the keyblade wielders. I recognized it as the Heartless that guarded Ansem. Why would he protect them if he was a being of darkness? It broke the chains and gently laid Aqua and Ventus on the hard ground, Sora following behind quickly. I was left to watch in awe as Xemnas looked visibly irritated at the heartless.

  
"How?" He yelled in frustration. "You fell to the dark–" A dark orb appeared in his hand, but before he could do anything the Heartless teleported behind him and grabbed his head.  
"No!" I cried out. Lea held me back as I squirmed in his arms. "He's in pain... let me go!"

  
"Xemnas never existed! That was Xehanort possessing Terra's body!"

  
"No... no. That's not true." I stopped struggling at his words. The Heartless ripped the crossed tapes over his mouth and struggled to speak. I couldn't make out the words, my eyes were focused on Xemnas' struggling form. His eyes caught mine and they widened before a blinding light covered us.

  
_What's happening?_ I panicked as I shielded my eyes. I took the opportunity to blindly walk towards Sora. The light quickly subdued, and I could see Xemnas standing in the middle of the field. No, that wasn't Xemnas. He had chocolate hair and he looked at me with deep blue eyes. They were full of sorrow, sympathy, regret. He abruptly turned towards Sora, who was kneeling beside aqua and Ventus. He quickly took off towards them, leaving me alone a couple of steps away. I couldn't bear to watch their reunion. I was happy for them, I really was. They finally got their friend back from the darkness, but it meant that my lover would never return.

  
Sora watched me with sad eyes. I shook my head and offered him a fake smile, hoping he would catch my drift and leave me alone. He squeezed my shoulder and walked past me, towards the awaiting group. I sighed and wiped any tears off my cheeks before turning to follow Sora, but someone held me back. I softly gasped as I looked into Terra's eyes, knowing once I looked into them and thought I was in love, then I looked down at his hand holding my wrist. He cleared his throat and let go of my arm when he noticed my eyes had trailed downwards. I quickly snapped them up to his face as I felt my cheeks heat up.

  
"I’m sorry."

  
His voice was an octave higher, but I found my breath hitching as soon as I heard it. He brought his hand up to rest on my neck and his thumb rubbed my cheek. My eyes closed as I subconsciously leaned into his touch. This had been all I wanted with Xemnas, small touches like this, but now I would never have it. At least not with him.

  
"He was so- so heartless towards you." A giggle escaped my lips at his unintended pun. "Sometimes I could take control of my body, I tried to make you feel better. A kiss on the forehead, playing with your hair. You looked so beautiful when your face lit up at those small moments."

  
My eyes shot open. So, it was him all along? Xemnas only wanted my body, but Terra made up for what he lacked romantically. My bottom lip quivered as my vision began to blurry.  
"No, don't cry." He held my face with both hands now. "I couldn't bare seeing you falling for him, only for it to not be reciprocated. He didn't deserve your love."

  
"Nobodies don't have feelings." I repeated the words Xemnas often told the organization. I gasped at the realization. "He used to say that– oh no, he manipulated us."

  
I couldn't help the tears now. They fell freely down my face and Terra pulled me into his chest. He whispered sweet nothings near my ear and even kneeled with me as I collapsed to the floor. He pressed his lips to my forehead like he always did and pulled away just enough to catch a glimpse of my smile. I didn’t get this kind of moments with Xemnas, but maybe I would get them often now that Terra is back.


End file.
